Signs

If you get attacked by a group of clowns, go for the juggler.

When your dad is your teacher, expect pop quizzes.

No one picks their nose. They are born with it.

If you're looking for soup, go to the stock market.

'Dark' is spelled with a K because you cannot C in the dark.

7 8 9 because you're supposed to have 3 squared meals per day.

A cow with no legs is ground beef.

Adolescents should follow the teen commandments.

Air at the gas station is no longer free because of inflation.

Always train in the sun to feel the burn.

Athletes can be taken to jail for resisting a rest.

Be grateful for your fingers. You can always count on them.

Before a race, eat fast food.

Books about cappuccinos have all froth and no substance.

Bring two pairs of pants golfing in case you get a hole in one.

Burglars who hide in the attic are above suspicion.

Butane weighs less than water as it's a lighter fluid.

Computer scientists install Java to drink their coffee.

Dogs may not retrieve the ball if it's far fetched.

Don't drink coffee to wake up. Wake up to drink coffee.

Don't go to the bar on the moon. There is no atmosphere.

Don't try to eat clowns. They taste funny.

Egyptian history is just one big pyramid scheme.

Elevator jokes are funny on so many levels.