Signs

If you get attacked by a group of clowns, go for the juggler.

When your dad is your teacher, expect pop quizzes.

No one picks their nose. They are born with it.

'Dark' is spelled with a K because you cannot C in the dark.

Adolescents should follow the teen commandments.

Burglars who hide in the attic are above suspicion.

Don't try to eat clowns. They taste funny.

Elevator jokes are funny on so many levels.

Hipsters drink their coffee before it's cool.

If you lost your sweater, check the sauna.

If you're wearing pants on a hot summer day, cut yourself some slack.

If your boat is sick, take it to the doc.

Never try to eat a clock. It's so time consuming.

People are shocked when they find out I'm not a very good electrician.

The first universal remote changed everything.

The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.

The word ambiguous should have more than one meaning.

To make holy water, boil the hell out of it.

To succeed in stealth, be sure to wear sneakers.

Tune a 7-string guitar's strings to C to play pirate music across the 7 C's.

When a newly painted room is too cold, give it another coat.

Whether glass coffins succeed remains to be seen.

X-rays give doctors inside information.